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Domestic abuse

Domestic abuse isn’t always easy to spot, as it often starts subtly or happens behind closed doors. It can show up in many ways – through words, actions or control. But whatever form it takes, it’s all harmful.

These are some of the most common types of domestic abuse.

Types of domestic abuse

Emotional or psychological abuse

Repeatedly blaming, belittling, shaming, manipulating or gaslighting someone to  intimidate, humiliate or make them doubt themselves or question their reality. 

Controlling or coercive behaviour

A pattern of controlling behaviours used to gain power and strip away someone’s freedom and autonomy, like telling someone what to wear, who they can see, tracking where they go or isolating them from friends and family.

Stalking or harassment

Repeatedly following, contacting or tracking someone – online or in person. This can include turning up uninvited or sending unwanted messages or gifts.

Economic abuse

Controlling someone’s access to money or essentials, like taking their wages or benefits, forcing them into debt, controlling their spending or stopping them from working.

Threatening or intimidating behaviour

Using fear, pressure or threats to control what someone does, such as shouting, damaging property or threatening them or those around them.

Physical abuse

Any form of physical harm, including hitting, pushing, restraining or throwing objects.

Sexual abuse

Any sexual activity without consent, including manipulating, coercing or pressuring someone to do sexual things they don’t want to do.

‘Honour’-based abuse

Abuse driven by the belief that someone has brought shame or dishonour on their family or community. This includes forced marriage, where one or both people do not, or cannot, freely consent (including anyone under 18) and female genital mutilation, where the genitals are deliberately cut, injured or changed with no medical reason.

The impact of domestic abuse

Ask the women and girls you know if they’ve ever felt controlled, manipulated, threatened or afraid in a relationship – based on the evidence, at least a quarter will say yes.

Domestic abuse is far more common than most people realise. Whether it’s emotional control, physical violence or constant fear of what might happen next, it's impact reaches far beyond any single place or moment. Abuse doesn’t only happen in the home – and it can start, continue or even escalate when a relationship ends. Its effects are felt by victims and survivors, their families and our society as a whole.

  • Whether it happens once or over time, domestic abuse can affect every part of a person’s life, from their health and confidence to their safety and independence. Here are just some of the ways it can have a negative impact:

    • It can cause physical injuries, as well as long-lasting health issues, including the severe and enduring effects of strangulation.  
    • It can cause psychological harm, including anxiety, depression, flashbacks, post-traumatic stress and, in some cases, suicide.
    • Living with fear or control can make it hard to focus at work, keep up with studies or stay connected with friends and family.
    • It can take away someone’s sense of safety and freedom, like feeling unable to relax at home, walk along the street at night or even leave the house without worrying about what might happen.
    • Some people may have to leave their home for their own safety or rebuild their lives from the ground up.

    If you’ve experienced abuse, you don’t have to face it alone. Support is available whenever you’re ready.

    Get support
  • Abusive behaviour has real consequences. Some people who behave abusively may not recognise that what they’re doing is abuse. They might not see the impact of their actions or realise how serious or damaging their behaviour has become. Perpetrating abuse can lead to: 

    • Losing the trust and respect of partners, family and friends.
    • Being made to leave your home or stopped from seeing your children.
    • Facing criminal charges which could result in penalties such as fines and/or imprisonment. Also, restraining orders can be made against you.
    • Long-term damage to your work, reputation and future opportunities.

    If you’re worried about your behaviour, it’s not too late to change. Support is available to help you understand your actions and learn how to stop. 

    How to change your behaviour

How to spot the signs of domestic abuse 

All relationships are different. There’s no such thing as a ‘normal’ one, but there are healthy and unhealthy behaviours. Noticing the difference can help you spot when something isn’t right – but that’s not always easy. Domestic abuse can hide in plain sight, especially when it happens gradually. But there are common patterns and warning signs to look out for.

Warning signs someone might be experiencing abuse

  • They’ve stopped seeing friends and family or make excuses to avoid socialising.
  • They seem nervous, withdrawn or anxious when their partner is around.
  • They’ve mentioned being criticised, blamed or feeling worthless.
  • Their partner checks up on them, texts a lot or gets angry when they don’t reply.
  • They feel like they have to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting their partner.
  • They have unexplained injuries or seem frightened of saying the wrong thing.
  • Their partner demands to check their phone or they seem anxious  about what they post or say on social media or in online conversations.

Recognise this behaviour?  

If any of this sounds familiar, for you or someone you know, it could be a sign of abuse. 

woman comforting a friend
woman comforting a friend

Need support?

If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, or have been through it before, you don’t have to face it alone. Support is available – talking to someone can make a big difference.

man on phone
man on phone

You can help stop abuse 

When abuse goes unchallenged, it can escalate. We all have a role to play in stopping violence against women and girls. Find out how you can help stop it.

man talking to a friend
man talking to a friend

Is it crossing the line?

We all think we know when something’s gone too far. But spotting the line isn’t always that easy. Some behaviours can seem harmless until you look closer.
See what crossing the line looks like, and how to change it.