Help stop abuse

Most of us have witnessed behaviour towards women and girls that crossed the line, but knowing what to do in the moment isn’t always easy. Staying silent can allow harmful behaviour to continue. Speaking up, stepping in safely or getting help early can stop someone being hurt.

You don’t have to have all the answers, even a small action can make a difference. Abuse rarely gets better on its own, but it can be stopped when people choose not to look the other way and to see it for what it is.

It's important to assess the situation first, only step in if you feel it's safe to do so.

How to help if you suspect domestic abuse

If you’re worried someone you know might be experiencing domestic abuse, you don’t need to have proof. Trust your instincts. Let them know you’re there if they ever want to talk and give them space to share things in their own time.

Avoid pushing for details or telling them what to do – that can mirror the control they’re already experiencing. If they do open up, listen, believe them and remind them it’s not their fault.

Encourage them to speak to domestic abuse services, who can explain their options and help them plan safely.

If you think they’re in immediate danger, call 999.

How to help if someone’s being stalked

If someone tells you they are being stalked, give them space to talk about what’s been going on and what they’re worried about.

Encourage them to keep any messages, screenshots or details of unwanted contact, and support them to report incidents to the police when they feel ready. Remind them they don’t have to deal with it alone – stalking charities and the police can offer advice and protection.

If you ever think they might be at immediate risk, call 999.

Help stop abuse in public places

Many of us have seen some form of abuse against women and girls in public, but it can be difficult to know whether to intervene. Some people worry they’ve misread the situation and could make things worse. Others may be nervous on how best to intervene and support someone. If you’re unsure about whether to intervene, here are some key signs to look out for.

Does the person look uncomfortable or upset?
Are they trying to escape or move away?
Do they seem frightened?
When you make eye contact, do they respond in a way that makes you think they want help?

How to step in safely

Intervening doesn’t have to be dramatic or confrontational. Even small acts of recognition and support can help stop abuse. It’s important to assess the situation first to make sure you are stepping in safely.

Here are four simple ways to help you step in safely, depending on the situation, where you are and who’s involved – just think STOP.

You can show your disapproval at what is going on for example, by not laughing and saying, 'I don’t think that’s funny'. Or you could be more direct, if you feel it’s safe to do so, by saying it’s unacceptable and tell them to stop.
You could tell someone in charge, like the bar staff if you’re in a pub or club, Human Resources (HR) if you’re at work, or the train guard or bus driver if you’re on public transport. You could also tell another member of the public or a passer-by and see if they’re willing to help – working together can be a safer, more effective way to intervene. It is important to check in with the victim on who they want to tell, or if they want to call the police.
If you feel safe, try to support the victim without drawing attention or escalating the situation. You can ask the victim if they’re OK. You could capture what’s happening on your phone and ask if they want the footage to report the incident, and you could offer to help report it. You could also help others already giving support. If it’s someone you know, you could check in with them when they are alone and offer to help or support them to report it if they want. For more guidance on the support options available, visit our Get Support page.
Sometimes what's best in the moment is creating a distraction, giving the person being targeted a chance to move away or giving others the opportunity to get help. You could strike up conversation with the victim, e.g. ask for directions, or where the next stop is on the bus, or pretend you know them. If you’re at work, you could make up an excuse to speak to them about an unrelated task. You could also try dropping something nearby or creating some other minor commotion.

Depending on the situation, where you are or who’s involved, you can use just one or a combination of these tactics. By standing against all forms of abuse and holding perpetrators accountable, we can create a society where women and girls are safe.

If you think somebody is in immediate danger, call 999.

Test yourself: how could you help?

Explore the scenarios below to see how you could put these ways to intervene safely into practice.

Controlling or coercive behaviour.

You think your friend is being controlled by her new boyfriend…

How could you help?

Intimate image abuse

Your friend is sharing nudes of his ex in a group chat.

How could you help?

Unwanted touching

You see a woman being groped in a club.

How could you help?

Unwanted sexual comments

You see someone making unwanted sexual comments to a woman on the bus.

How could you help?

Have these scenarios made you think?

If you can think of a situation when your behaviour – whether deliberate or not – has upset, embarrassed, hurt, controlled or coerced someone, be honest with yourself. It’s the first step to making a change for the better.

Need support?

If you’re experiencing abuse, or have been through it before, you don’t have to face it alone. Support is available – talking to someone can make a big difference.

Get support

Reporting abuse

If you’ve been affected by abuse, there are ways to report it. Find out more about how to report abuse. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 999.

Reporting abuse