Is it crossing the line? 

It’s never easy to admit when we’ve crossed a line or overstepped the mark. But if you can think of a situation when your behaviour has upset, embarrassed, hurt, controlled or coerced someone - whether someone you know or a stranger - be honest with yourself. It’s the first step to making a change for the better.

We’re not only talking about deliberate acts of serious violence. Abuse takes many forms – verbal, emotional, sexual and physical. Some people don’t recognise the impact this behaviour can have on the person who experiences it. Or that many of these behaviours could be criminal.

Can you spot what crosses the line?
Can you spot what crosses the line?

Can you spot what crosses the line?

We all think we know when something’s gone too far. But spotting the line isn’t always that easy. Some behaviours can seem harmless until you look closer.

Take this quiz to see how well you can spot what crosses the line.

Take the quiz

Have you ever…

You might not think you’d ever cross the line, but some everyday things – a small comment, a bit of teasing, getting jealous – can go too far without you realising.

Take a look. What counts as crossing the line might surprise you.

Have you ever…

  • Made sexual comments or jokes about a woman to your mates?
  • Made suggestive comments to a woman when they weren’t wanted?
  • Checked where someone was through their phone or apps?
  • Commented on how a woman looks at work?
  • Shared a post, meme or video that put women down? 

When seeing someone, have you ever…

  • Lost your temper with her?  
  • Repeatedly messaged her with no response?  
  • Shared an intimate photo of her with your mates?  
  • Used anger, jealousy or guilt-tripping to get your own way?
  • Tried to convince her to have sex after she’d said no? 

Being honest, have you ever wondered…

  • “Was I being too full-on?”  
  • “Was I being controlling?”  
  • “Is it abuse if I shouted?”  
  • “She said I scared her – is that abuse?”  
  • “I only did it once – does that make me abusive?”
man talking to a friend
man talking to a friend

Anything sound familiar?

Even if you didn’t do it deliberately, none of this behaviour is ever OK.

What matters is recognising it and doing something about it. 

If any of this seems close to home, you can change how you act next time.

Find ways to change

Understanding your behaviour

Sometimes the way we act is shaped by things we don’t even notice – what we’ve grown up around, the people we spend time with, or how we handle our own emotions.  

Figuring out what’s behind your behaviour can help you start to change it.

Find out more