Put yourself in their place
- How would you like to be treated? Everyone in society should be seen as equal, with their own feelings, needs and wants.
- Be aware of how your behaviour might affect someone you’re close to. Trying to control what they do, who they see or how they behave crosses the line.
- Understand that behaviours you might dismiss as harmless, like making unwanted sexually explicit comments in the street or touching someone sexually without their consent are offences and cross a line. It can make women and girls feel intimidated, uncomfortable, or frightened.
- Be mindful of how women and girls may feel in streets, trains or buses. They are often on high alert, especially when alone or at night. Be conscious of people's personal space and don't encroach on or invade it.
- Never assume you’re entitled to sex. Sex without consent is rape. Before engaging in sexual activity with someone, make sure the person is freely agreeing and able to make that choice. Look for clear signs they want to take part and that they’re comfortable. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. If it is, stop immediately and respect that decision.
- Don’t believe porn is how sex should be. Just like films don’t show real life, porn often shows unrealistic and harmful behaviour. It usually leaves out the most important parts of a healthy relationship, which are mutual consent, respect and communication.
Look at your relationships
Harmful behaviour often shows up in intimate relationships. If you’ve:
- checked your partner’s phone
- repeatedly questioned where they are or who they’re with
- used jealousy as a way to keep them close
- shouted, withdrawn, sulked or punished them with the silent treatment
- pressured them into sex
- used threats of self-harm to keep them close
- made jokes that put them down
- blamed them for your reactions
...then it’s important to recognise that this behaviour is harmful and crosses the line.
These behaviours don’t come from nowhere. They come from insecurity, fear of rejection, past experiences, stress, anger, or learned habits. They can feel normal, but they can still cause harm.
Noticing it is the first step. Being honest about it is the second.
Look at the people around you
Friends and family can all influence how we behave. Don’t get drawn into abusive behaviour, just to be ‘one of the boys’.
It can feel difficult to go against the crowd, but it’s the right thing to do. In many situations, you won’t be the only one thinking something’s wrong – but it takes one person to take the lead and speak up. Be that person.
For parents and carers
As a parent or carer, you’re a role model.
Your attitudes and behaviour influence children and help shape the person they become.
Teach children and young people to respect others. Show them how to stand up against harmful behaviour. Help them understand and set personal boundaries. Explain why consent matters in every relationship. By doing this, you help them grow up in a safer, healthier world.
